My Huge Carnaval Post

CARNAVAL, PROS and CONS

The Salvador Carnaval is the largest gathering of people for a party on Earth. An estimated 11 million different people attend the festivities over the 6 days. I was one of them this year. Here are some observations I made about such a massive and unique festival in the form of a pro and con list.

PRO, music: The festival is centered around traditional African and Bahian music, most of which is axé (“ah-shay”), candomblé (“con-dome-blay”) and pagoda (“pah-go-jay”). These are all very lively styles of music meant for jumping and grooving and the whole crowd throws its hands and water into the air at every chorus. There is live music for about 10 hours each day playing off of mobile stages on double-decker busses called trio-elêtricos. The other kinds of music are samba, reggae, reggaeton, gypsy drumming, and various electronic music from guest DJs. Nearly all of the compositions are original, and nearly every person from Bahia knows all the songs. It’s really cool to see four blocks full of people laughing and shouting along to music they know while balloons, beach balls, water, confetti and clothes fly all over the place.

CON, music: I personally didn’t know almost any words to the music, nor what it was talking about. That makes it hard for anybody who doesn’t speak Portuguese to really enjoy what they’re hearing. Also, being a somewhat critical musician, I tired quickly of the repetitive nature and lack of creativity of much of the music. It’s like techno: if you’re buzzed and dancing, the music is great. But if you’re looking for quality, technical music, you won’t be satisfied. To be fair, the electronic music was all really good and there was a ton of Bob Marley being played all the time.

PRO, color: the colors are bright and numerous everywhere at Carnaval, which is a real feast for the eyes. The costumes and shirts associated with the blocos are really great and it was very surreal to see a mob of 500-2,000 people jumping around a mobile rock concert in the same brightly-colored shirts.

CON, theft: There is a ton of pickpocketing at Carnaval. A guy in an orange bandana snuck out of the crowd and stole my friend’s flask out of my pocket in about one second and then slipped back into the mayhem invisibly. They’re really pretty slick. They put pressure on your left side like they’re someone trying to push past you, which makes you pay attention to that side and look at the rude guy shoving you. While your focus lies on them, their partner not-so-slyly slips into your right-side pocket as discreetly as possible and liberates you of whatever you have in that pocket. I wised up after I figured out what happened and stopped FOUR subsequent attempts over the next two nights. Thank god the guys aren’t violent about theft, because, against Fernanda’s advice, I probably wouldn’t give up anything without a fight. Unless they had a weapon, of course. At least I knew better than to carry any money or identification in an outer pocket. Those things I swallowed in a balloon and regurgitated only when I needed to buy drinks.

PRO, the dancing: If ever there were a collective group of people that know how to dance vigorously and with endurance, it’s the Brazilians. The energy at Carnaval is a frenzy. The ocean of people in the streets bobs and undulates to the beat like the waves in the sea that lies just below Carnaval. Nobody headbangs in Brazil. They’ve all learned since childhood how to swing their hips, hold their torsos and arms like a preened rooster, and stomp their feet in time. The trio-elêtricos tend to have the most beautiful kinds of people on top of them since they are so public, and many of the women trio passengers can samba like professionals. I caught myself staring more than once.

CON, fights: A lot of men (and some women) at the festival either a) go there to pick fights, b) are overly jealous and combative toward people that look at or dance with their significant other, or c) get super drunk and take things personally. I saw about ten fights happen over my five days of going. Granted, the close quarters, alcohol, bad smells, lack of comfort or space, and loose-lipped men and women are all catalysts for short tempers. But seriously, these people must just love to fight. And some for no reason. This is a true story, I kid you not: on their way home from the camarote (VIP building) on the night that I stayed home healing and relaxing, Nanda and Renata ran into one of their old friends named Simon. He was walking home by himself on a well-lit street not saying or doing anything, when a stranger walked by and punched him in the face. His lip was split open pretty badly and he was sucking on a wet paper towel when the girls found him. He was cheerful, but without gauze or ice, so they brought him home and I doctored him up with the Neosporin I brought from home and a bag of ice. Poor kid.

PRO, attitudes: Nearly every face at Carnaval has a smile on it. Every varying level of smile, too. Some are calmly observant while others are ear-to-ear and singing a favorite song. Hugs are plentiful and kisses are easily obtained.

CON, smells: The flood of people into a small area brings with it some really powerful stink. Everybody drinks and eats a lot there, and exercising afterward gets the juices flowing, literally. There aren’t really enough Port-o-Potties and all the businesses in the affected area are closed and boarded up, so with no options left, most men just whip it out and piss on a wall. Sometimes in a crowd! Or on a nearby car. The piss runs down the gutters to mix with spilled beer, the occasional vomit, and god-knows-what else to form brackish pools of stench soup. Body odor isn’t as big a concern, since the sweat is closer to water than to B.O. sweat, plus one’s nose begins to shut down quickly after arriving. Ugh, but the worst thing is that many homeless people that usually live in the area have really nowhere else to go or they have some meager job at Carnaval and have no other options, so they actually go Number Two in the gutter or into a T-shirt or something and leave it within visual and/or olfactory range of the crowd. Pewww.

PRO, beautiful people: Brazil is an untapped resource for chiseled, gorgeous people. In an earlier post, I mentioned how some of the most visually cursed people live here due to scars, birth defects, disease, and what have you. However, some of the most surrealistically attractive people on Earth live here, too. I’m totally straight, of course, but the guys here have perfect bodies, great skin, healthy lifestyles, and great teeth. And the women… Oh, my god. I think God smote the entire country with curves. And they know how to throw them around, too. Caramel and ebony and walnut and cream skin, blond and morena and kinky and curly full hair, short and tall girls, big features, big booties, and the absolutely best legs I’ve ever seen were everywhere I looked. And as I’ve said before, their language is like singing. If I didn’t already love my life in the States, I’d live here in a heartbeat just for the women! Ah, but I still wish they all could be California girls.

CON, poor people: All over the place, there are poor people either begging for money, attempting to scam or rob you, or selling really crappy wares or food. The most common thing I saw walking around Carnaval was a guy or a young kid hauling a Styrofoam cooler on his back full of ice and beer, selling it for super dirt cheap. It is a major buzz kill, especially since nobody has a plan or a shred of sympathy for these people during or after the festival.

PRO, location: Carnaval takes place on the streets that border the Atlantic Ocean in Salvador. One can see the sea and the endless horizon from almost anywhere in the event, and each sunset and sunrise is more beautiful than the one before.

CON, sexual deviants: Many men here exploit the sexually liberating nature of the event and go off kissing girls who don’t want them. I hear that lots of girls prefer to make out with a guy and make him leave than to deal with his garbage all night while he follows her.

PRO, cheap goods: The exchange rate from US Dollars to Reales here is about 1 to 2, which already helps me out. Then, everything is super cheap there anyway. A skewer full of sausage, beef, chicken and vegetables costs only two Reales, a bowl full of delicious and nutritious Açaí costs about four, and a tall can of beer costs ONE Real! That’s about fifty cents in the U.S. Even the most luxurious and costly food and drink nights at Carnaval are pretty cheap.

CON, filth: Because the trash collection infrastructure really sucks at the festival and because there are millions of people all in the same place with a devil-may-care attitude, the trash and other filth really piles up. There aren’t even trash cans anywhere. You literally just throw garbage into piles or out of the way under a table or something. It makes for a depressing way to discard trash.

PRO, camarotes: There are special viewing places for Carnaval called camarotes. They are actually businesses, that line the streets the rest of the year, that have been converted into two- or three-story clubs with limited access. They are either costly or invite-only, but they have the best views of the trio-elêtricos, provide a nice place to sit down or get away from the madness on the streets, and have real bathrooms to use. Nanda’s father has a high position in the Coelba, or Company of Electricity for Bahia, so he was given two passes to the BEST camarote for all 6 days. It’s called Express 2222 and there was free food inside (not just crackers and stuff, but ice cream, chocolate, rare cheese, fruit, temaki, deli meat, sandwiches, coffee, free delicious cocktails, free beer, wine, champagne), free massages, tons of gifts at the door, a full dance floor with guest DJs, three stories of balconies from which to view the festivities on the street, computers all over with internet access (which I think is a stupid thing to have at the world’s biggest party, but whatever, it was free), huge futons everywhere, comfy couches, and celebrities. I went there for two nights and Nanda went with other people for two nights.

CON, madness: It’s so confusing, disorienting, loud, distracting, crowded, unstable, dirty, and intimidating at Carnaval sometimes that it detracts from the beauty of the event. As easy as the city is to navigate, I still got lost a couple times because of all the craziness happening.

PRO, rain: Every single night for the whole week, the rain would start to fall at one or more points during the parade. I personally can’t get enough rain since I’m a desert-dwelling land lubber, and it drove the temperature down considerably. Plus, all the girls who didn’t want runny mascara would all run for cover, which cleared the streets for the rest of us to frolic.

CON, rain: Much as I love the rain, apparently it’s fairly dirty rainfall. One of the negative side effects of such a large city is that the clouds have a fossil fuel content and make some people ill with the flu and stuff if they get rained on.

PRO, kissing: If a member of the opposite sex makes steady eye contact and offers a smile, it is perfectly acceptable to approach him or her and have a makeout session. Usually, it’s the man’s prerogative, but girls can do the talking, too. It’s very free and open.

CON, transformation of Salvador: To protect the businesses and historic sites from the ravages of Carnaval, the city boards up much of the authentic storefronts and covers them with advertisements and colorful banners. It’s okay if you’re a Vegas type, but I much prefer the real city, so all the gaudy crap makes it just look phony-bologna.

PRO, a big break: Since the economy and school all shuts down for the whole week, nobody really has anything to do during Carnaval except to party and sleep in. As a result, there are many cultural events throughout the day by people that would otherwise be working. Also, the entire city is present at the event.

CON, expensive: Except for the cheap food and booze I mentioned, everything else is pretty expensive. To gain admission into the area immediately around the trios, called blocos, requires basically just a special shirt. But to get one of these shirts, even for an unpopular or brief band, costs from R$ 50 to R$ 200! That means you have to walk behind the band car all night, too. Entrance into the camarotes costs anywhere from R$ 100 to R$ 600 a night!

PRO, originality: The Carnaval in Rio de Janeiro is by far more visually amazing. The costumes, dancers, floats, and stage effects are hands-down the best on earth. However, only performers can get on the street. Even high-paying patrons can only watch from good seats, they cannot go down to join the party. Bahia Carnaval is totally hands-on and intimate. The party includes everybody who can walk and dance.

The myriad of other observations I made can all be blended into one cohesive and unforgettable memory. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before, even after attending five Burning Man festivals. These people really love to cut loose. And the festival immediately precedes Ash Wednesday and 40 days of Lent, so it gives them all the opportunity to glut themselves with sins of the flesh and then purge their wicked ways afterward. Glorious!


NOTES, for those of you who care...

Pros: color, music, dancing, smiles, pretty people, location, cheap beer and food, camarotes, celebrities, rain, camaraderie, exciting, smells, kissing, no economy for a week, transformation, tons of business, no cars, no schedule, cheap stuff for sale, creativity,
Cons: theft, fights, cops, smells, poor people, rape, filth, madness, lost, turns pretty Salvador ugly, music, food can make people sick, rain, expensive for blocos and camarotes, really loud, hazardous for feet, puddles of god-knows-what, pissing in public, can’t swim in the sea for a week afterward,