Lima SUCKS

While nothing could spoil my trip entirely, Andy and I are definitely fed up with Lima. By far the worst city we've been to. I know my best friend is from here and all, but it's the truth. Today while we were at the internet cafe (in which I wrote the previous post) and getting lunch, the maid at our hostal went into our room to make the beds. While she was in there, she stole Andy's GPS device, worth about $100, and a really nice knife that I had. The GPS had many excellent locations like Buenos Aires, Ushuaia, Antofagasta, and Machu Picchu marked and stored within. Also, in her search for money, she took a bunch of stuff out of my daypack and shuffled through my document sheath. When we got back to the room, I saw that my daypack was missing and instantly began to be worried and pissed. Normally I carry my passport everywhere on my person, but it was a brief outing and I thought it wasn't necessary to do so, so I left it in the pack. Of course the first symptoms of panic started when I thought I had my passport stolen no more than 36 hours prior to leaving the country. I went downstairs and explained what was happening to the old guy working at the desk and he came upstairs to walk through that morning with us. We had definitely locked the door when we left so it could only have been the maid. After storming around, my blood was beginning to boil and the discussion was also heated. Out in the hall, I spied the strap of my small blue backpack sticking out of the maid closet and opened it. Relieved to find my passport still inside, I calmed down a little bit. But everything inside had obviously been searched for money. Thankfully I had no cash at ALL in my stuff, it was all with me.
The catastrophe had been a false alarm, but then we found out that my knife and Andy's GPS were missing. Somehow, she missed the iPod sitting out on the table and the wad of US money in Andy's wallet in his bag, so it could have been much worse. We packed up our stuff and decided to leave, screw that place. Downstairs, she had just conveniently returned from her lunch break (and probably a trip to her house to stash her newly-stolen booty) and was talking with the old guy. I started shouting at her and explaining the situation and she, of course, denied everything with downcast stare. We demanded a refund and the old guy, to his credit, was very cool about everything and gave us our money back. Hopefully he fired that piece of trash.
THEN we spent the next hour in a taxi driving around to about ten hostals trying to find tonight's place to stay. All were full for a while until we found Hostal Texas. So we're there tonight, and I of course leave in the morning. Andy understandably wants to get into another neighborhood, and might actually return to Pisco to be with Pat since Lima is so unrealistically expensive. It's at least reasonably priced. The major trip on the agenda today was to go to the Lima International Airport and figure out how the flight process will work tomorrow and in 8 days for the other two guys. The cab to get there cost 30 Soles (the four hour bus from Pisco was only 13, mind you) and we pseudo-broke down on the way. What a gyp. Upon arrival, we cruised around inside the airport and found where to check in. THEN we learned that there is a 100 Sol exit tariff! That's more than $30 extra, just to leave this crappy city. $30 extra that I wasn't planning to spend. Arrrgh. So of course I had to withdraw more money from the ATM to have the funds lined up for the morning. And then we paid another 30 Soles to get back to our hostal. And I'll have to pay another 30 in the morning to get back, then begin my tragically long day of airport and airplane madness.
I'm sure I'll laugh about it in a month, but today isn't exactly the best day. In Perú, we've gotten sick, bitten by bugs, ripped off, robbed and lost. Good times as well, of course, but I don't think I'll be coming back to Perú as anxiously as the other countries I've visited on my next trips to this amazing continent. I'm already over it, I've never been one to pout or sulk, but it sucks that my last day was the worst one. Ho hum.
In exactly 12 hours, my plane from Lima to Bogotá, Columbia will leave. Until then, Andy and I will just take it easy and not tempt fate. No drinking tonight, except for maybe a cold farewell beer, and just hang out in the hostal. Perhaps reading. I have a lot of Shakespeare to memorize. From memory, I've got the following two things for you all. I love Romeo and Juliet so much. Othello is next, then Midsummer's Night Dream.
As promised, I'll still write the, how did I describe it, meditative reflection when I'm in Indiana this week. Within 36 hours, I get to see my cousin! Hooray!

Adios, amoebas. More to come.
B

Romeo:
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Her vestal livery is green and sick,
And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off!
Oh it is my lady. Oh, it is my love.
Oh, that she knew she were.
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eye discourses, I will answer it.
I am too bold. 'Tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres til they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp. Her eye in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek.

Also Romeo:
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this...
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

Next, I'm memorizing George Carlin's "Modern Man" skit to impress Conrad and a whole bunch more Shakespeare. Wish me luck and clarity of mind. Lllllllater