Okay, P.S. Post

  I want to thank everybody who read my blog while I was gone for their diligence and attention.  I had no way of knowing who read it or not, but nearly all of my friends and family read along while I was away.  Your thoughts and prayers for me kept me animated during even the toughest times of the trip and I couldn't have done it without you all.  I'm blessed to have taken such a fantastic voyage through space, and it makes me yearn to do it all over again.

  First, earn money.  Second, save money.  Third, buy plane tickets.  Fourth, quit my job and go away on another adventure.  Fifth, repeat.  Ha!

Love to all my life companions,

Brad

P.P.S.  You get special points if you're reading this post because everybody thinks I finished.  Actually I did too.

FINAL POST: Reflections on the Journey

FINAL POST

  I've now been back in Reno for nearly three whole days.  This will be my final post, and I hope it is enough of a climax for my dedicated readers.  The final thoughts on my trip live mostly in my head, and will continue to ripen as I proceed with the next chapter in life.  I've nearly finished getting used to life as it exists here in the U.S. again, but not quite.  Plus, I've begun the hectic race to become gainfully employed again, so no time to muse at the grand significance of the last three months in more than short spurts.  BUT, without further ado, here are the final thoughts from my first trip far, far away from home.

I.  Things I've learned or Things that have become true

- Reno is home.  The chances are good that I'll move off to work and live elsewhere and the chances are almost certain that I'll take more trips out of the country.  But whenever I say I'm going home, that's Reno.  I suppose I already knew that, but it was reaffirmed.

- Trips like this one are my newest budding addiction.  There is no doubt that I will continue to drop off the grid like that every year or every other year until I'm forced, by way of kids, a wife or another heavy obligation, to stop.

- I've learned a hundred examples of where to go and where to not return.  Definitely going back to Brazil another few times.  Chile was my favorite so far.  Perú was fantastic as well, although I will never return to Lima unless I'm forced to catch a plane to or from there.  Arequipa and Cuzco, Perú were great, but I don't think I feel the need to revisit Machu Picchu.  Maybe.

- I've learned what equipment is necessary and what is not.  I took way too many clothes and shoes, and ended up giving away two pairs of shoes, a jacket, some pajama pants and some shorts.  I took too much paper.  For some reason, I thought I'd be writing for at least an hour a day.  Granted, I had many ideas for writing material, but there just isn't time to long-hand them.  Just jot the idea, rough draft only, and save it for later.  Also too many books.  The backpack I took was adequate as far as storage space, but wasn't designed for the hours of carrying to which I subjected it.  Andy's Osprey backpack was rugged, huge, stood upright on its own, and had a perfect back and strap design for heavy duty use.

- On a similar note, I know what different things I would have brought.  Andy had the great idea of taking a GPS device, which is an idea I like.

- I learned, the hard way, that it pays to do research beforehand.  So that one doesn't get to Los Angeles and get sent back due to not having the correct visa, for example.

- I learned to, pardon the term, cut the crap.  I don't feel the need to play games with people, beat around the bush, hedge my comments with excessive politeness, or hide my feelings on a subject.  Especially with servers or people selling me things and services, I feel the need to assert my rights more than I ever did before.  If one gives an inch of leeway or weakness there, one gets ripped off nicely.  It's a little different here in the States, but the principle is the same.

- I feel much tougher, for lack of a better word.  I don't feel like I need privacy, toilet seats, quite place to sleep, a soft and comfortable bed, clean clothes, a clue as to where I am, a computer, television, constant involvement by others into my well-being, and lots of money.

- I've learned that books, musical instruments, playing cards, drawing, writing and socializing are much better than T.V. any day.

- Traveling is amazing.  Vacation is boring.  I'm not the type to go piss away six hours drunk on a beach and just sit poolside.  I want to get up and see things, meet people, and go into the local bars and not the tourist-friendly ripoff bars.  I always prefer to walk rather than be driven somewhere and it's always a better experience to do things the unconventional way.  In short, you won't find me in Cancun or Cabo San Lucas anytime soon. 

II.  Things I will dearly miss:

- Obviously, having no punch card or boss is nice.  No agenda, no obligations, only opportunities to explore and learn.  

- Having no cell phone.  After only two days back in Reno, I already hate my cell phone.  For the first week in Brazil I had "phantom" cell phone syndrome where I thought I felt a vibration in my pocket.

- I'll miss the way people live very intimately in the places I visited.  The quarters are closer, the families often live all together with three generations, and neighbors all seem to be in business together.  Men meeting each other either hug or embrace hands and arms with both sides, and women meeting kiss both cheeks of the other.

- The crazy, living streets of Brazil.

- The amazing mix of cultures in Brazil.

- The sensational, fit, tan bodies of Brazilian women.

- The ocean (it doesn't matter which one, i saw them both).

- Being exhausted from trying so hard to understand Brazilian Portuguese.

- Knowing with unfailing certainty that I will sleep soundly all night.

- Getting stared at.

- Everything being so cheap, especially the ice cream, the late night burgers, shish kabobs, sausage french fries, and the beer.

- Not having to drive, I loathe traffic.

- The fruit.

- The many delicious foods I ate while there.  Ceviche, açaí, cupuaçú, acarajé, farofa, empanadas, menus completos, arroz con mariscos (seafood rice), and many others.

- The bakeries that bake hundreds of smaller loaves of bread or individual pieces so that one doesn't have to buy plastic-wrapped, pre-sliced loaves.

- The many cocktails and snacks I tried.  Caipirinhas, Cachassa, Caipiroskas, Chilean wines, Inca Cola, chicha blanca, and many others.

- Chilean Spanish.

- Being a minority.

- Being a guest.

- Not knowing a single person in a new town.

- Learning my way around a big, new place and making it my neighborhood.

- Being a celebrity almost everywhere.

- Being taller than fully seventy-five percent of all the people.  Especially in Perú.

III.  Things I won't miss at all:

- Having to have my own toilet paper all the time.  Public restrooms charge a fee for their use and STILL there is no toilet paper sometimes.  Also, even though it's no big deal, I won't miss sitting on the can without a toilet seat.  I saw only one toilet seat in all of Perú.  

- Not being able to flush the paper.

- Cold showers, even in a hostel I had to pay for.

- Everybody calling me amigo (usually means they're trying to sell me something).  Sorry, guy, I'm not your friend.  I'm your total stranger and you're in my face.

- Getting stared at.

- Pickpockets.  In Brazil.

- Weird exchange rates and having to crunch numbers in my head to convert to USD.

- Being on a budget.

- Not earning any money, only spending it.

- Poor people on the streets holding out their hands and moving their mouths without making sound.  There's not even a back story or a sad sack story, they just bluntly want you to put money in their hand.  Come ON, at least say you have three kids to feed or your house was ruined by the earthquake or something.  Creativity is rewarded, lethargy is not.

- The bus stations and busses of South America (and their crummy, excessively loud movies, malodorous passengers, obnoxious children, pushy street vendors that are actually allowed on the busses to swarm you with snacks, and inept ticket salespeople).  

- Not getting to drive, I love driving.

- A total lack of hamburgers, burritos, Sam Adams, Fumé Blanc wine, Martinis, White Russians, Doritos corn chips, guacamole (that's right, no guacamole because no decent refrigeration almost anywhere we went), Brie and Gouda cheese, 

- Everything closes at 11:00.

- Not having my drums.

- Having a limited circle of friends.  Don't get me wrong, Andy and Pat are two extremely close friends.  Spending 8 weeks with only the same two people makes one anxious to mix it up with others.

- Good ol' English.

- The flies and the fleas of South America.  Vicious little blighters, aren't they?

- Not having nice clothes in which I can get dressed up.  I missed my ironed collared shirts and my suit SO much.

- Having to pay to use the internet.  Then when you're in there, the keyboards are terrible, the headphones rarely work, the internet is slow, and there are always kids in there playing some obnoxious online game and making way too much noise.

  If you want the Reader's Digest version of what I learned, here it is:  the world is big and life is short.  If one wants to be recognized, as I do, it takes tenacity and work.  No more sleeping in for me, I have things to DO, you know?  Eliminate TV, commit to a minimum of one hour a day of writing, reading, or learning, stay fit, practice Spanish and learn more Portuguese/Russian/Morse/Greek/Sign Language every day, stay in touch with my family and friends, and drop the bad habits of the past.  That's the plan.

  I've always enjoyed writing what's in my head, and it may one day become my fortune.  This blog has helped me keep it together sometimes and has helped me to remember everything.  The experience seems large and collective until I reread what I wrote.  It gave me a chore to do every day, which strangely enough I love.  It's impossible to know exactly how many people have been reading along with my journey, but I hope you enjoyed it.  I'm quite blessed to be able to do something like the travel I took, and I thank my family above all.  Especially my Mom and Dad.  Close your eyes after this sentence and visualize me licking my finger, opening my book of Life, and turning the page to the next chapter.  Chapter Five, Real Life.

Brad to the Bone, signing off.  May 1st, 2009.

BG

The Eagle has landed

It's been a 22+ hour day in taxis, airports and airplanes. But finally, a few hours ago Conrad picked me up from the brand new Indianapolis airport and whisked me back to the States mindset. We're all tuckered out tonight, especially after a few rounds of Halo 3, so it's off to bed. But everything's in English again and I have to relearn the keyboards. Tomorrow, I want to eat cottage cheese and either a big hamburger or a big burrito. Or two. And get a frosty Sam Adams. And we're also going to do some yard work, house projects, and/or go to the church so I can play drums there. Plans are by no means set in stone, but we'll do some verrrry important stuff for sure.
It feels really good to be back in the U.S. When I have time, I'll do more bloggin' for y'all, but now it's Dreamland Express Overnight for me. Sweet dreams, America.

Be Rad

Lima SUCKS

While nothing could spoil my trip entirely, Andy and I are definitely fed up with Lima. By far the worst city we've been to. I know my best friend is from here and all, but it's the truth. Today while we were at the internet cafe (in which I wrote the previous post) and getting lunch, the maid at our hostal went into our room to make the beds. While she was in there, she stole Andy's GPS device, worth about $100, and a really nice knife that I had. The GPS had many excellent locations like Buenos Aires, Ushuaia, Antofagasta, and Machu Picchu marked and stored within. Also, in her search for money, she took a bunch of stuff out of my daypack and shuffled through my document sheath. When we got back to the room, I saw that my daypack was missing and instantly began to be worried and pissed. Normally I carry my passport everywhere on my person, but it was a brief outing and I thought it wasn't necessary to do so, so I left it in the pack. Of course the first symptoms of panic started when I thought I had my passport stolen no more than 36 hours prior to leaving the country. I went downstairs and explained what was happening to the old guy working at the desk and he came upstairs to walk through that morning with us. We had definitely locked the door when we left so it could only have been the maid. After storming around, my blood was beginning to boil and the discussion was also heated. Out in the hall, I spied the strap of my small blue backpack sticking out of the maid closet and opened it. Relieved to find my passport still inside, I calmed down a little bit. But everything inside had obviously been searched for money. Thankfully I had no cash at ALL in my stuff, it was all with me.
The catastrophe had been a false alarm, but then we found out that my knife and Andy's GPS were missing. Somehow, she missed the iPod sitting out on the table and the wad of US money in Andy's wallet in his bag, so it could have been much worse. We packed up our stuff and decided to leave, screw that place. Downstairs, she had just conveniently returned from her lunch break (and probably a trip to her house to stash her newly-stolen booty) and was talking with the old guy. I started shouting at her and explaining the situation and she, of course, denied everything with downcast stare. We demanded a refund and the old guy, to his credit, was very cool about everything and gave us our money back. Hopefully he fired that piece of trash.
THEN we spent the next hour in a taxi driving around to about ten hostals trying to find tonight's place to stay. All were full for a while until we found Hostal Texas. So we're there tonight, and I of course leave in the morning. Andy understandably wants to get into another neighborhood, and might actually return to Pisco to be with Pat since Lima is so unrealistically expensive. It's at least reasonably priced. The major trip on the agenda today was to go to the Lima International Airport and figure out how the flight process will work tomorrow and in 8 days for the other two guys. The cab to get there cost 30 Soles (the four hour bus from Pisco was only 13, mind you) and we pseudo-broke down on the way. What a gyp. Upon arrival, we cruised around inside the airport and found where to check in. THEN we learned that there is a 100 Sol exit tariff! That's more than $30 extra, just to leave this crappy city. $30 extra that I wasn't planning to spend. Arrrgh. So of course I had to withdraw more money from the ATM to have the funds lined up for the morning. And then we paid another 30 Soles to get back to our hostal. And I'll have to pay another 30 in the morning to get back, then begin my tragically long day of airport and airplane madness.
I'm sure I'll laugh about it in a month, but today isn't exactly the best day. In Perú, we've gotten sick, bitten by bugs, ripped off, robbed and lost. Good times as well, of course, but I don't think I'll be coming back to Perú as anxiously as the other countries I've visited on my next trips to this amazing continent. I'm already over it, I've never been one to pout or sulk, but it sucks that my last day was the worst one. Ho hum.
In exactly 12 hours, my plane from Lima to Bogotá, Columbia will leave. Until then, Andy and I will just take it easy and not tempt fate. No drinking tonight, except for maybe a cold farewell beer, and just hang out in the hostal. Perhaps reading. I have a lot of Shakespeare to memorize. From memory, I've got the following two things for you all. I love Romeo and Juliet so much. Othello is next, then Midsummer's Night Dream.
As promised, I'll still write the, how did I describe it, meditative reflection when I'm in Indiana this week. Within 36 hours, I get to see my cousin! Hooray!

Adios, amoebas. More to come.
B

Romeo:
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Her vestal livery is green and sick,
And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off!
Oh it is my lady. Oh, it is my love.
Oh, that she knew she were.
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eye discourses, I will answer it.
I am too bold. 'Tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres til they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp. Her eye in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek.

Also Romeo:
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this...
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

Next, I'm memorizing George Carlin's "Modern Man" skit to impress Conrad and a whole bunch more Shakespeare. Wish me luck and clarity of mind. Lllllllater

LIMA

We're here. Last night was pretty fun. Everybody told us that Lima's dangerous, but it seems just like the other cities we've been to: just gotta keep my cool and not do something stupid like walk into an unlit, grimy alley. It's actually quite nice. There are cool new plants everywhere and everything is very clean. Too bad I'll only be here a total of 37 hours. Nothing amaaaaazing to report. Our dinner of chicken and fries was sinfully delicious. We went out last night and met some cool folks at a nightclub/bar. We realized later that it was a gay bar in disguise, but nobody hit on us so we didn't know. Absolutely EVERYthing closes at night here and one is forced to rely on street vendors for late-night food and drinks. Our hostal is nothing special but costs more than twice as much as the Tauro hostal in Pisco where we were for the last week. Actually, it doesn't even have hot water and the other one had super hot water. We're not terribly happy with it, but after looking online for an hour last night, I couldn't find even one lead about a cheaper one. Meh, oh well. Big cities don't always win over small ones. This place has FAR superior internet shops than the others we've encountered in Perú, though. Last night I actually got to chat in real-time with my mom and some others online. Plus there are new video games on all the machines here and the cafes are always full of young guys killing eachother on web-based battlefields. Last night to treat ourselves, Andy and I got cups of real coffee. It's been at least two months since I drank a cup of non-dehydrated coffee. I am by no means a coffee kind of person, but it felt reeeeeally good to drink some quality brew.
My stomach is practically eating itself I'm so hungry. Gotta wait only one more hour until lunchtime. Maybe Chinese today. You can tell from the grave and important nature of what I'm saying that there's really not much going on right now. Just the last day in Limbo before I leave this Homeric quest for self-indulgence. Last night while chatting, Andy and I reflected on how weird it is to think that I'll be back in the U.S. within 38 hours. It was three months ago that I thought to myself, "weird, in less than 38 hours I'll be in Brazil." Now the tables have turned and the trip is over. It's a "whoa" from South America this time.
This post is going nowhere. Unfortunately, it will be one of the last. However, when I have down-time in Indiana while visiting my cousin Conrad in a few days, I'll post the meditative reflection on my long experience here for y'all. But for now, I need to distract myself by other means so I stop thinking about the delicious bowl of wonton soup and plate of noodles that awaits me in an hour. Mmmmm.
More to come, at least one more. Be patient, wish me luck in figuring out the massive Lima airport today and in either pulling an all-nighter or waking up on time to catch my 5:50 a.m. flight tomorrow. Either coffee or Benadryl, haven't yet decided :). Just kidding.

Later, guys and dolls.
B

Off to Lima AHORITA

We're headed to Lima in about 20 minutes. Thought y'all'd like to know. It's only about a three or four hour bus ride and I'll post more as I learn more. Tomorrow we have to go do battle with the Lima airport and get everything squared away for my crack-of-dawn flight on Friday morning. Should be a madhouse, but I love a challenge.

Bring it on, Lima. Adios, fans. Will write soon.

Golden B

The trip to las Islas Ballestas began today at 7:00. The morning was quite foggy, but it quickly became desert-like as we picked up other passengers in the van that sped us along a coastal highway to the pier. There, we became cattle in a sea of tourists waiting in line for the same tour as us. I always like to mockingly take pictures of them while they take pictures, and you'll see on my FaceBook album just how common that was over the following few hours.
The islands were quite amazing. I've never seen so many birds in one place before! It's like the New York of bird civilization. It wasn't exactly the Galapagos, as the Galapagos are home to something like 200 indigenous and unique species and the Ballestas are home to maybe 15, but it was still breathtaking the whole way. We saw at least 20,000 seagulls, pelicans, boobys, penguins, and stork-like birds, plus tons of crabs, urchins, barnacles, and starfish. We also crossed paths with at least 2,000 sea lions in small groups or in GIGANTIC colonies along the secluded beaches. The Ballestas are named after the "crossbow" due to all the stone arches in the area. I wish my camera did the distance shots more justice, but you can all still get the idea. The whole trip lasted about three hours and we got back to the pier in time to wade through the same ocean of tourists to a taxi. Back in Pisco, we ate some delicious soup and seafood rice at our new favorite lunch spot called Las 200 Millas cabana. The complete two-course and beverage meal costs 5 Soles, or about $1.50 and it's tough to finish it all. We already love the place.
The islands really showed me how thick the presence of life is in some places. The ocean is every different color with guano, feathers, seaweed, and nameless other organic slops and chunks. Every 4 years, the Peruvian government goes to the islands and harvests the tons and tons of guano there as a source of high-energy fertilizer. When the government first began doing so in 1940, the guano was 30 meters thick! I couldn't believe our guide when he said that, so I bade him to reiterate and I had indeed heard correctly. Seagulls sure know how to crap. Overall, despite being put off by being stuck in a giant crowd of bustling, rich tourists, we had a blast and drew some fine memories from the trip. The pictures can be seen at the link below. Plus, there are some of us leaving Cuzco and of Pisco. This city is a trip, I plan to do a full day of photos tomorrow if possible to show the destruction and former size/glory of the city. There are burned out buildings EVERYwhere.
This net café is one of the only ones here and it's getting crowded, so I'm leaving now. FIVE more days until I leave Perú. Holy jeez. Tomorrow it's off to buy a bus ticket to Lima. Bus details and further nonsense to follow. Thanks for reading, sshhh shhh shhh, it's almost over.

Outta heah,
Brad

Islas Ballestas pix:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020326&id=1445169559&l=9a2b38a99b

Poor Man's Galapagos

Tomorrow morning at 7:00, we'll embark on a boat trip to the nearby Ballestas Islands, also known as the Poor Man's Galapagos. They aren't as distant, as volcanic, or as isolated as the Galapagos, so it's not the same. Nevertheless, it should be fun and enlightening. Afterward, if Pat feels good, we'll pass through the Paracas National Park nearby and swim, fish, screw off, and enjoy the scenery. Apparently there are some remarkable examples of how the 2007 earthquake thrashed the countryside in the park since nobody has restored or changed them.
Besides this expedition, we've been socializing and laying low while Pat heals up. He had a nasty fever and headache that is still persistent. But it's clearing up pretty well due to his being Superman. The night life is pretty cool here. We've seen breakdancing teenagers, street artists, plazas filled with entertainment, faires, and general partying each night. I went clubbing last night with marginal success. The guys here are intimidated by me and the ladies stare at me like a prophet or something. Not the average gringo, I suppose. Tonight, it's hang-out night with the boys, maybe we'll play some cards and listen to Beethoven. We have to get up early in the morning, so it's early to bed without beer.
Lima awaits us after this, which will indubitably be a whole new adventure. The final hurrah, so to speak, until I leave on the 24th. I'm now almost counting the days on one hand! Weird. The conclusion of a 3-month vacation starts now. However, not yet. I'll write about the Ballestas tomorrow and hopefully fill up another album with photos of Pisco and the Poor Man's Galapagos.

Unabatedly,
Brad

Pisco, Perú

Yesterday we were positively thrilled to be off the bus. It was pretty unpleasant, but as always we gutted it out and laughed it off. Pisco's already pretty intense. Andy almost got hit by a taxi RIGHT off the bus and we got swarmed by taxistas and street vendors. It's probably about 110 degrees here. We're definitely back in the Atacama region even though we're right on the ocean again. This city is... interesting. On August 15th of 2007, an 8.0 earthquake destroyed about 80% of the city and killed more than 500 people. The large city is now quite unpopulated and struggling to get back onto its feet. There's a substantially higher crime rate than before after the huge exodus of the locals out of Pisco and the new influx of tourists into it. We've been warned plenty to watch out for theives and scam artists. Don't worry, as always, we're three body builders in our prime, we travel in packs and we stay alert. A couple dudes have already tried to herd us into a "bar" that had no sign in it, so I aggressively told them to cram their theft where the sun shineth not.
However that's only a tiny slice of the whole picture. The town is full of old destroyed lots that used to be buildings. It's interesting to walk around. Also, there are cool little motorcycles that have been converted into taxis that motor around and produce a high-pitched rev. The plaza is charming and we're about 8 blocks from the ocean. It's hot all the time, so it's back to shorts and a tank top. The crooks on the bus from Cuzco to Pisco stole my sandals out of an outer backpack pocket, so it's boots all day from now on. Oh well, only 8 more days til I leave anyhow. We've met some GREAT people already. The artisanship here is by far the best I've seen anywhere. For some reason, the rent is cheaper than anywhere we've been before, but the food is about twice as expensive. Today, one of our missions is to find the cheap places to eat. Granted, the meals we have eaten are delicious and sizeable, but it's nice to have cheap options as well. This city has a good feel to it, so we'll likely stay a few days before moving up the coast to Lima. Eventually. It's only 290 km to Lima, which runs about $5 and three hours by bus. So we'll take our sweet time. There's a huge national park called Paracas that is fairly close, so we may go there and do some camping within this week.
Poor Pat got some kind of fever last night, so we're nursing him a little bit until he springs back to life. He's basically superhuman so we anticipate that it won't last very long. Plenty of water, some Ibuprofen, and he'll be back to kicking tail pretty soon. I need to be vigilant with the sunscreen as it's like an oven out here. I'm considerably whiter after my stay in Cuzco, since the sun rarely comes out there, so it's back to hiding in the shade until my skin acclimates once again.
As stories happen, I'll tell them. Also, I'll put a bunch of photos of Pisco up once I take them. It's got a unique look for sure. Ta ta for now. It's ciesta time, then off for another adventure. The nights here are long and warm, so it's best to stay out late.

Dignified,
Brad

Links to all my Photos (for those of you who aren't on FaceBook)

I FINALLY figured out how to do this. For those of you who are seeing these photos for the first time, I both apologize for the extreme delay and hope you enjoy them.

Brazil
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2014872&id=1445169559&l=d2823b9013

Brazilian Carnaval and more
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2016257&id=1445169559&l=086fea3538

Morro de Sao Paulo
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2016258&id=1445169559&l=808102dc75

Chile and Perú
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019021&id=1445169559&l=b468c26d42

Machu Picchu and more Perú
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019503&id=1445169559&l=d486ad8ad0

Wrestling Match with Pat and Andy
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019573&id=1445169559&l=5ec2bb90f5

Last days of Cuzco, plus Randomimity
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019830&id=1445169559&l=ca1ee69bee

There ya go. Next time I do a big trip like this, I'll bring a higher quality camera for the distance shots. Thanks for bearing with me, folks. We're killing about another 3 hours before we hump our gear to the bus terminal and take the long one to the ocean. (dripping with sarcasm) I can't WAIT to sleep on the bus. Let's hope the movies aren't bootlegs, the sound isn't blaring and crackly, and the included meals are edible. Yippee Kiy Yay. Bye, Cuzco.

Con gusto,
Brad

Last day in Cuzco (for real this time)

It has been raining for about an hour STEADILY! While crossing the street with Andy to get some internet time before nightfall, I got dusted pretty well with muddy water by a passing taxi. Prick. Really though, all I can do about it is laugh it off. It's wet everywhere and it's basically unavoidable. Oh well, comfort is boring.
Today I got up early and went to the gym. EVERY single business was closed the last couple of days due to Easter. We even had trouble getting our meals without a lengthy walk. So today, I got my fix on exercise and said my final farewell to the cool owner of Vim's Gym, Cesar. With muscles burning, I bought some milk at our favorite botillería, or literally "bottle store," and gave a long English lesson to the sweet girl that works there. Rosa is studying to be a teacher and will graduate in two years, so we had a lesson on perfect modals and the shoulds/woulds/coulds/mays/mights and how they change between languages. The guys were just getting up, so we all went DIY on lunch today.
Pat felt like getting lost by himself downtown with his guitar, so Andy and I got some soup and some beer at a little dive restaurant near our current hostal and watched most of Jumanji in Spanish. The Village People (probably very few, or maybe none, of them are original Village People) will play a show here in Cuzco on the 18th, and the radio is flooded with advertisements for their concert. Wouldn't it be funny if they played the whole show without playing Macho Man or YMCA? I think so.
Happy belated Easter to everybody, too. Feliz Pascua. Yesterday, we took quite a long hike up a hill to the tall white statue of Jesus that overlooks Cuzco. It was tiresome, but we still had fun doing it and saw many fantastic views of the city below. I'll put photos on FaceBook as soon as possible. I FINALLY learned how to paste a public link to my pictures into the blog (now that I'm almost leaving the continent, sorry people), so y'all should be able to see all of them once I do that. We saw a killer little ancient labyrinth called Qenqo and met some cool folks from Barcelona that were terrified to touch the llamas grazing there. Even though a big male spat at me, a cute little baby llama liked me a lot and I helped the pretty young Barceleña overcome her fear of foreign animals.
Overall, we've loved Cuzco immensely. It is completely oriented around pedestrian traffic and has lovely scenery, polite and informative police officers, ample good smells and few bad smells, a cozy ancient atmosphere, great architecture, abnormal but normally pleasant weather, and good deals on food and lodging.
Tomorrow we'll check out of the hostal and kill time until our LONG overnight bus to Pisco. There won't be another post for a bit, but fear not. I won't forget y'all. Happy 50th, Aunt Clemencia!

Un mil de abrazos, Brad

NUTTY Night with Battlin' Pat

Last night was a riot. We all did our own thing for a few hours all over the city and finally reconvened at the hostal Señorio Real at dinner time. The guys got a bunch of rum, Kola Real, and ice cream, so we ate the tub of helado and split the bottle of rum over the next hour or so. Then went off for a giant and AMAZING pizza at a place across the main avenue. Fully stuffed, we splurged on another bottle of rum and set to drinking it.
Pat got this crazy streak in him and started jumping from bed to bed in our little hostal room and wriggling around underneath them all. Then, he focused his energy on us and we started a full on wrestling match. He has the strength of twenty men and we totally tore the room apart with our mobile wrestling match. Over and over again, Andy or I, or both, would pin him down and he'd say Uncle. Then, thirty seconds later, he'd catch his breath and we'd start the mayhem again. The room was so unbelievably disheveled by the end it was insane. At some point, I felt compelled to take down the glass-paned picture of Don Miguel above one of the beds because we were getting so nuts. Thank god I know some jujitsu, otherwise Pat would have just stomped me. Nothing got broken and no serious injuries resulted, but MAN it was fun. We slept like the dead last night. And miraculously, nobody knocked on our door or mentioned anything this morning when we checked out. Cleanup was difficult as we had to remake two beds that got overturned but that nobody slept in. Plus our bags got virtually emptied and everything scattered all over the place. BIG FUN. Thanks, Pat. Eat your heart out, WWF.
Today we checked into a slightly further hostal called the Valenzuela Hospedaje and it's great there. Four more days in Cuzco, so we're going to hike to the gigantic Jesus as soon as we can and generally just soak up this big city. There's great cuisine here, too, so we will definitely partake in some of that action. I'm going to the gym today, got some extra energy and the guys want to take a ciesta. Feel the buuuuurn. Musclehead.

Ta for now, friends. Be Rad

P.S. The photos of our Battle Royale can be seen on FaceBook, even without an account, at this link:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019573&id=1445169559&l=5ec2bb90f5

Staying in Cuzco for a bit

The internet here really, REALLY sucks, so this blog will be short. On our "last night" two nights ago, Andy and Pat were asking themselves why exactly we were going to leave. We like Cuzco a lot, so why go? I was out dancing, so yesterday morning when they told me that, we decided to change the dates on our bus tickets. We'll be in Cuzco until Tuesday the 14th now.
Mostly, it's a period of rest and comfort until we get back to camping and stuff in Pisco. I can't wait to get back to the ocean. Not much is really going on here, just some good reading, seeing the sights, long walks all around the city, and sleeping late. Today, we plan to hike up a substantial hill to the base of this giant statue of Jesus. The Cusqueños erected it at the onset of World War II to prevent the war from coming to Perú. I guess it worked. It's about a mile and a half to get there, and then I want a photo of the city from the great view up there and a photo of Jesus.
Sorry to disappoint those who've been living vicariously through my harrowing wildness, but even young people need rest sometimes. There are some real adventurous moments here, though:
1. Darting in and out of the psychotic Peruvian traffic is like playing a game of Frogger.
2. Avoiding the constant bombardment of salespeople selling Peruvian flutes, knitted clothes, cigarettes (even 5-year-olds do it), cheap food, postcards, paintings, and occasionally drugs.
3. Deciding what food is safe to eat and what isn't.
4. Not getting suckered into tipping the cute little Peruvian kids with authentic clothes and little goats.
5. Staying away from all the bloody tourists.
6. Not sleeping too late or pissing off the hostal owners by coming in at 4 in the morning.
7. More to come...


Another few days here and we'll do a 16-hour overnight bus ride to Pisco. Then it's ocean, new people, a new city, camping, sand dunes, ruins, a lagoon, and all kinds of other stuff we've heard of. I'm outta here, stay tuned for more TALES OF INTEREST!

B

Tomorrow, Pisco. Last night in Cuzco

Fun facts, not much going on.
In the period of Andy smoking one cigarette (about 4 minutes), we counted 73 Daewoo hatchback taxis pass us on the street. Talk about a cornered market.
Last night, I counted exactly 73 bug bites on my body, too. Those damn little flea/mosquito things on the train tracks back from Aguas Calientes just LOVE my sweet, sweet blood. It takes all my willpower to not just lose it and scratch myself to death.
Including rent, food, laundry, internet use and water consumption, it takes a maximum of $15 a day to live here. Next time I come, if there is one, I know exactly where to go to live cheap.

We walked to the bus station today to buy our tickets to Pisco for tomorrow. It's a small coastal city that puts us back in the desert region of Perú. There are some ruins, an ocean, and some cool things to do there, so it should be nice. And hopefully we'll be camping again. Wouldn't want to get soft from too much hostal living. At the station, a guy swooped in and repeatedly cut his price when it seemed like we wanted to go compare other prices. We got a 16-hour over night bus ride with two included meals, movies until 10:00 pm, two bathrooms, and complimentary coffee in the morning for 100 Soles, or about $30. It leaves at 6:00 tomorrow, so it's the last night to get crazy in Cuzco. I feel tempted to hit the discos, which I'm sure the guys won't do. But who knows. It's still only lunchtime here.

Bye bye, Cuzco. Hasta la próxima vez. Peace out, readers. I'll broadcast live from Pisco when we get there intact. Chau

B

Tuesday, a day of chores and relaxation

Yesterday, we got up at about 7:00 again and suited up for our 6 mile hike back down the train tracks to the hydroelectric plant. There, we got a ride to Santa Teresa, and from there a ride to Santa María. We ate some much-needed lunch and then bought tickets for a bus to Cuzco scheduled to leave about an hour later. Two hours later, we had repeatedly checked in with the guy who sold them, but still no bus. Finally he learned through some phone calls that the bus had broken down up the road in Quillabamba. He was a nice dude, so he gave us a refund and we caught a passenger bus back to Cuzco that took about five hours.
It was REALLY chilly back in Cuzco last night when we showed up at about 11, so we checked back into the hostal and walked around the city for some hot food. But basically everything is closed on a cold Monday night, so it took about twenty minutes to finally find some burgers and shish kababs. Afterward, back home for showers and sleep, interrupted only by some stupid ugly American types in the room across the hall.
Today, not much to report. Andy and Pat cruised to the campesino market down the street and bought a TON of carrots, onions, cucumber, spinach, peppers, tomatos, bread and cheese while I cleaned up the room and my foot injury. By the way, for all those concerned readers (like Sue Moore and my Mom, thanks), the foot is fine. I heal pretty quickly. We mixed it all up, except the bread, and ate a spicy salad fit for a king. The rest of the day, just going to hang out, rest up from Machu Picchu, do laundry, and explore Cuzco. Even war-weary travelers like us need to rest up for a day sometimes.
All is well, still having a blast, and we hope you all are, too. Within the next few days, another city and another adventure awaits us.

Chau, friend and family,
Brad

Machu Picchu, babay

We got back from Machu Picchu about an hour and a half ago. Immediately afterward, we HAD to eat some cooked food. The sandwiches and fruit were fine, but hell, it was time to treat ourselves. Last night, the journey to get to Aguas Calientes at the base of the MP mountain was arduous and prolonged. We caught an early bus from Cuzco to Santa María, which was actually the most beautiful bus trip I've taken so far. It ranged from lowland valleys and tranquil agricultural landscapes to intense switchbacks at super high elevations and bad roads and utter rivers flowing across the road. Scenic and interesting, even for 5 hours. That dropped us off at the tiny town of Santa María, where we hitched a ride with this crude guy named Chino to Santa Teresa. Over the two hour car trip, he played awful Peruvian love music, crashed recklessly around tight curves overlooking deadly and nearly vertical inclines, forged three small rivers that crossed the road in his '92 Corolla, and stopped almost every half hour to go socialize with friends he knew along the trail. At one point, I put my foot down and said, in Spanish, "so, we paid you to drive us to Santa Teresa and we're in kind of a hurry to get set up and go to sleep. Quit screwing off and drive us." Anyhow, he drove us through Santa Teresa and up to a hydroelectric power plant with some railroad tracks that led all the way to Aguas Calientes. The 7 mile trek up the tracks included monstrous land spiders all over, glowing worms, fireflies, a raging river alongside us, and countless pitfalls over which to cross. However, no train came, which actually bummed us out. Hugging the canyon walls to avoid a sticky death sounded fun after two hours of trudging with our 60 pound backpacks. No matter.
Arriving in A.C. at about 11:00, we wandered friutlessly around looking for a decent map or sign to point us to the free campsite we'd heard about. Eventually, tired and achy, we just walked toward where the city was supposed to be and found it. As we set up camp, the rain started to fall, so unfortunately the sleep was a bit damp last night.
In the morning, we got up at 7:00, ate a bit, packed up our stuff, and left it at a depósito de equipaje, or a baggage check place. It took about an hour and a half to get up the steeeep rock staircases and winding road to the entrance gates for Machu Picchu, and it nearly killed us to do it. I've never climbed so many stairs in one sitting, nor stairs that were so dangerous and steep.
At long last, we stamped our passports, bought tickets, and got in for S./124, or about $40. The old city is SO much bigger than I thought! It has ingenius engineering, clean surfaces, open plazas, agricultural terraces, and grazing llamas. I don't really need to go into it, it was a beautiful, and incredibly HIGH, old city. When possible, I'll post my M.P. photos to my FaceBook albums. Even with low picture quality, you'll see just how huge everything is. Massive precipices, steep rock slabs everywhere, and treacherous, certain-death-type drops all over the place, but surrounded by a mystical, silent and moist rain forest. Humbling and spectacular.
The trip back down was quicker, but nearly as hard, as the way up since we descended the staircases on achy legs in the rain. Now back in town, we want some beers and some chairs, and then it's off to an early night of sleep. Tomorrow, back to Cuzco.
I'm finished. Happy Birthday, Conrad! Chau, fans.

More Cuzco, off to Machu Picchu tomorrow

Yesterday, April 2nd, when we were walking around downtown, there were a whole bunch of organized protests of different interest groups walking around the city. Some protested tourism, some mafia enterprise controlling the campesino lifestyle, some the unfair wages of engineers versus other trades. It was pretty intense at some points, and at least ten riot police fully clad in riot gear accompanied every group of paraders. We don't know if it ever escalated to the point of violence, but the potential was there for sure. Afterward, we crashed around all over Cuzco and the plazas to get our bearings and the guys patiently waited for me while I got the best haircut of my life. A sweet girl named Maria buzzed me really well and did the whole shaving cream, straight razor and aftershave routine. Ahh, like a million bucks now! We walked around looking for some manual bike horns to buy so we can combat all the incessant taxi honking, but there doesn't seem to be a bike shop anywhere near us. Phooey.
When it was time to get back to the hostal because night was coming and the weather was turning sour, we stopped and got a GIANT gallon jug of wine for about $7.00 and another bottle of the good stuff for about$6.00. Right as we left, BOOM! The thunderstorm and rain started. I've never seen rain come down so hard in my entire life, and we had to run about five blocks through it to the Hostal Miracle Inn where we're staying. Completely soaked, we got inside and took off the wet shirts to warm ourselves up with some vino. Every single second (at least!) for about two hours, there were lightning strikes. I'm not kidding even a little bit, it was at least one per second for two hours amidst the hail and thick sheets of rain. While enjoying the storm, we listened to music and got a bit saucy on the Kool-Aid sweet wine. I was in the middle of a heated dance session, and doing some floorwork breakdancing when the hostal owner's daughter knocked on the door. She's a nice gal named Milagros (Miracles) who explained how to get to Machu Picchu the quickest and the cheapest possible way. Reassured by her explanation, we continued to goof off and finally went to bed at a reasonable hour, for a change.
Today, I woke up super early because of an unexplained 5:00 AM rush hour outside our window and couldn't get back to sleep. So I found a gym within a block of the hostal and busted a nice sweat (appeasing my addiction to exercise for at least another day or two) in peace. The people there stared at me like an alien, I think because of how much weight I was putting up compared to the average Peruvian guy. I had to scrounge weights from all over the place to get my level right. Anyhow, feeling much better I let myself back into the hostal room and the other two were just getting up. We cruised off to the first supermarket we could find, called the Mega, to get some trail food for the trip to Machu Picchu tomorrow. It was pretty expensive, which surprised us. We then wandered for a little while and found the most AMAAAZING place just down the street from the Hostal Miracles. A small and nondiscreet doorway bloomed into a bustling street market with unrealistically cheap food and wares, and there were a dozen restaurants that served a huge plate of food for two Soles! That's about $0.65 US. We chatted for a while with some Israeli tourists next to us while we stuffed our faces with fried fish, rice and noodles, salad, and baked potato wedges with vegetables, and then bought a bunch of veggies and peppers for the trek tomorrow.
And now sitting in the internet cafe, or as we call it, the Webernet Hut. The guys are itchy to go have another adventure, so I'm outta here. Thanks for listening, as as always, Hush Hush.

Love to all, wish us luck on the Incan Trail tomorrow and I'll take some photos there. Andy got his camera stolen two days ago in Arequipa, so my crummy little camera will have to suffice.

Chau, brad

riots crashin round haircut storm rain lightning spaz to talk with Milagros, hoy Mega then cheap market

Lleguemos en Cuzcooooooo

After a ten-hour bus ride following a three-hour wait in a bus station hellhole following a two-hour walk in the sun to the station, we're in CUZCO! The bus ride was crazy, but I managed to drift in and out enough to have energy for today, at least until ciesta. The guys, no. They're pretty haggard, so it's mealtime and then nap time. The bus needed lots of internal repair on bulkheads and rivets and such, and so consequently it was very loud with rattles all night. There was a fanatical guy talking to our Israeli buddy from the last hostal for probably three hours about cryptically biblical references. In Spanish, the language that Stav doesn't really speak. After a while, I offered to tell the guy to stuff himself and quiet down, but Stav instead just put in headphones and started reading. That got the point across pretty well. I sat next to a really cool dude named Martín (like my best friend), also Peruvian, who studies linguistics just like me! So I had a cool elaborate conversation about the pros and cons of Spanish and literature and whatever else.
Upon arriving at the bus station in Cuzco at about 8:00, I found that I have this GIANT spider bite on the insole of my left foot. Presumably it's a spider bite, although I've had my boots on for the last two days, so who knows how it got there. It's a pretty fierce size and I've had to cut and drain it a few times. Oh well, keep it clean, dress it, and gut it out I guess.
The city is fabulous so far. We've only been here for about 4 hours, but it's very clean, it contains ancient and unbelievably exquisite architecture, and it's much cooler in the daytime because of the altitude and how much more green it is. Obviously, it's a tourist law that we see Machu Picchu, so we're off to compare prices and timing within the next three days or so. The city is really fun to navigate, and there are plenty of steep streets, open plazas, beautifully manicured terraced yards and courtyards, ancient cobblestone roads, and cultural reminders that this city used to be the center of the Incan Empire. Until Pizarro smashed it into rubble following an Incan revolt. Nevertheless, we're sure to have fun and hopefully change the vibes for Arequipa.
I wish my camera were better. The architecture here was accomplished with little more than rock tools and hammers, and there are some 10 ton bricks sealed together with PERFECT seams and no mortar or concrete. It boggles the mind how these people assembled such a magnificent and enormous mass of buildings without cranes, jackhammers, concrete, or electricity. Unfortunately, I know that a wealth of 20,000 slaves is how it all came to be. Irregardless, it's a treat to be here and I'll take all the photos I can. Shoot, I better start to upload them, too. It's not confirmed yet, but Andy may have lost his camera today. ATM card, and then camera. Maybe he needs a new filing system.
Internet's running out and it's lunch time. I'm tempted to eat some cuy here, which is guinea pig. Probably not for lunch today, since it's a sort of delicacy, but this week. I don't think I'd be grossed out, even though it's a rodent. I've already eaten parrot, snake, and llama on this trip. Why not a cute, furry oversized mouse? It reminds me of that South Park Episode about the Peruvian flute bands and the guinea spiders. Hollah, anybody who knows that one. Or two, I guess.
I'm rummy from lack of food, so this blog's O-vaaaaah. Hope y'all enjoyed it, and I'll be sure to hit it again and again and again and again until I come home.

Live in love, gente.
Brad

April Fool's Day, leaving Arequipa

Although this town is probably pretty cool, the vibes so far lead us to believe we don't belong here. Andy's bad luck, the lack of bars and the inability to camp for free are enough to scare us off. The plaza here and the people we've met in the hostal are EXCELLENT, but we're off on a bus to Cuzco or somewhere nearby today. We haven't yet walked to the bus station to buy tickets, but that's the plan.
Last night was a GREAT night. After tooling around all day searching for cold beer and helping Andy to perk up from losing his money and his ATM card, we made it back to the hostal with 3 liters of beer each and started drinking. We played a myriad of classical and chamber music while carrying on, which attracted one hostal guest after another. Another beer run later, we had a group of probably 15 others hanging out with us. There was a great couple from Greece named Antones and Evita, two great peeps from Holland named Diane and Tim, two 20 year old German girls named Charlotte and Lara, a guy named Ben, another guy, Mike, a third guy, Greg, the only other American there, a delightfully pretty girl named Candle, and other wanderers in and out of our circle. They all followed suit and bought beers to return to the hostal, so we all got saucy and loud together LATE into the night. At one point, Pat grabbed his bottle of whole jabañero peppers, the hottest on earth, and Greg, Ben, Pat and I all ate one whole. It's not exactly a pleasurable experience, more like getting slapped on a fresh sunburn in your mouth, but it sure livened up the party! Then, three of us figured, well we already ate one, let's do it again. And then eventually we ate a third! So, 10 jabañeros later, we were all spiced up and feeling brave. THEN, an earthquake hit and we all felt it simultaneously! Amazing, simply a charmed night. Great bonding experience with people all over the world. Makes me thrilled to be alive.
The guys all went off to bed and Candle and I talked for a few hours. She had a bus to catch today very early and wanted to make it an all-nighter, so I kept her company until the ol' eyelids began to droop. Then bedtime.
Now I'm off, time to end the transmission. We're all fired up to get back on the road, even if the bus ride is loud and hot. With any luck, we'll be in Cuzco within the day.

Thanks for reading, y'all come back now, hear?

Brad to the BONE

Today, March 31st

Day One in Arequipa. The breakfast was delicious and we woke up nice and early. There are a bunch of nice gringos here from the UK, Sweden, and the US, so we've been hitting it off really well so far. I prefer the locals, but what can one do? Our bunk mate is a cool guy named Stav from Israel. He just finished his mandatory military service and is crashing around the ol' Sudamérica to blow off some steam and some money.
However, there is some pretty bad news today for Andy. During the bus ride, one of the cops took all our passports off the bus to "process" them, which we basically interpreted as wasting time to feel important. He returned them, of course, but Andy came up missing a 100 Sol bill today and he thinks the cop took it. No way can we go back and verify that of course, he's just out about $35. Pretty crummy luck. Lesson learned, I guess. He keeps all his large bills and credit cards and stuff in the passport, which is, in my opinion, something to keep separate. But we feel real bad for him anyway. THEN, this morning, he discovered that between yesterday and today, he lost his ATM card. It likely fell out of his pocket on the bus, he thinks, and is basically without a way to withdraw money as they don't accept Wells Fargo cards here as far as we know. We're trying to fanangle a way to maybe transfer his money into my account via Bank of America, and then I can withdraw for him with my card. But of course, it requires extra work to cancel the previous card, possibly try to get a temporary one issued, and screw around with the internet process. Poor Andy, he's pretty bummed. However, it's not a total loss: he didn't lose his passport and it's not like he lost money, just the method to withdraw it. So we'll get him all squared away today, as well as finding the campsite in which we want to camp for a few days, get me a haircut, and explore the city.
Arequipa, so far, seems pretty cool, especially in the daytime. The drivers are nuts, the streets are full and lively, there is an AMAZING old plaza in the middle of town, pretty girls are exceptionally common and exceptionally pretty, and everything is dirt cheap. We love it so far. I'm off now to help Andy rectify the crappy bank situation with my Spanish and then we'll get some food and take a walk.

Love to all, wait for the next post. Chau
Brad

March 30th, from Arica to Arequipa, Perú

We got up at a good hour and packed up, real exciting stuff. Our favorite nearby empanada shop was open and we got stuffed with amazing and cheap empanadas. Then, Pat had the idea that we all three split a giant ice cream cake. It was so unbelievably delicious that it almost dropped us into comas, and it was all the more rewarding because of the price: 1700 Chilean pesos, which comes to less than THREE dollars! Awesome. Our bus departed at 1:00 pm, so we checked out of the Residencial Real and took the one and a half mile walk to the bus station. Weird things happened when we got there. The lady that had sold us the tickets the day before was extremely nice and well-informed, and she instructed us to meet her at one at her ticket booth. However, upon arriving, a guy immediately singled us out and started telling us that he was our ride to Arequipa. He also had a cohort, and the way they immediately approached us and began to hurry us through the process of getting outside to the terminal seemed like a scam. I stood my ground and said, "no, we're waiting for the lady at 1:00," which made my distrust of the situation apparent to them. They seemed to not want us showing our tickets to the ticket counter in charge of the original lady's busses for the day, which further riled my suspicions. THEN, they said it was a car taking us to the Peruvian border, so we figured these dudes were trained to find dumb gringos and scam them. However, we talked to enough officials and ticket counter people and learned that the guys were actually on the level and that they knew who we were because of the nice lady's explicit instructions. So, much ado about nothing after all, but it's always best to be safe and certain.
Okay, so THEN we got all squared away and got our ride in a run down Chevy Caprice from a super nice chofer named Adolfo. He took us through all the customs and paperwork nonsense to a small city inside Perú called Tacna. There, we caught a bus and got our first taste of Peruvian money, called Soles (suns), Peruvian foods and Peruvian Spanish. Which, by the way, is WAY easier to understand than Chilean. The bus ride after that took about 6 or 7 hours, and basically sucked. The AC didn't work, so it was utterly stifling in the upper deck where we were. No joke, it was probably 100 degrees for the first two or three hours. Plus many needless stops, more luggage checks, rude cops, smelly passengers, a teenage idiot next to us with a myriad of annoying tics and habits, the inability to take our shoes off due to bus regulations, prohibition of eating on the bus (which we violated anyway), and the forced viewing of bootleg versions of all 3 The Mummy movies followed by The Scorpion King. I like the first two Mummy movies, but they were dubbed in crummy Spanish and blaring down on us from the nearby speaker. However, we had the front row, which entails a great view of the road in front of us and more leg room. We gutted it out and had some laughs, arriving finally at the Arequipa bus station at about 10:00 pm. Everything is SUPER cheap in Perú so far, and we each got a nice big burger for less than a dollar each and chatted it up with some cute bus attendant ladies hanging out. Although we preferred to walk, as we'd been sitting all day and also wanted to burn off the calroies from eating empanadas, ice cream cake, sweets, and burgers all day, a pushy taxi driver outside told us that it was kind of dangerous between the bus station and our hostal. So, fine, we paid him 4 Soles, and it's 3 Soles per US Dollar, and he took us to El Hostal Home Sweet Home. Hehehe. It's only 18 Soles a night including a breakfast of crepes, eggs, toast and coffee, and we've met some super cool people there already.

Last day in Arica

Tomorrow we have a 1:00 pm bus that will fly us to Arequipa, Perú. Including a border customs check that will probably take about two hours, it should be about ten hours on the road. Which of course puts us into town pretty late. Gonna be a LONG one tomorrow. But whatever, no pain no gain. Tonight we're going to hang out downtown after packing up and have a relatively crazy night. No real reason to get up early tomorrow. Just to eat and walk to the bus station, then hurry up and wait for ten hours.
Yesterday was a day to remember. The keyboard I'm on REALLY sucks, so I'll make it brief. After a restful all-night bus from San Pedro, we got to the pyramid-shaped bus station and consulted the city map and Lonely Planet book to find a good hostal. Showers were badly needed. We walked pretty far in the noon heat with our heavy bags to a hostal that doesn't exist, then found another one nearby for pretty cheap and settled in. After eating the BEST seafood empanadas in the known universe, we took our first ciesta. The beaches in this city are all covered in giant wave-breaking concrete structures, so we walked all over looking for a good one. Finally, we (apparently) "snuck" into a yacht club where they had a cool little lagoon and swam there. There was a giant open gate into this unguarded relaxed area, so we just strolled in. But when we walked out, it was apparent that it was a members-only place and we got some intense looks. Pretty funny. Then back to the hostal for showers (thank god) and the second ciesta. Then we were hungry again, so off to buy some food and some new shorts for Andy, as his old ones were all messed up. We saw great stuff and met some cool folks. We're practically celebrities here and I just eat it up. Really fun. For dinner, we cooked up some delicious sausage and bread with sauce, then split a big box of wine and took off again. I'm sure my grandparents won't like to hear it, but hey, I'm on vacation. By this point, we were quite hammered and every little thing became infinitely more fun. First, we watched some Aricano rappers at a big outdoor plaza and did a bunch of somersaults and stuff in the soft grass. Then we relocated to another part of the city and opened up the bottle of Pisco (Chilean grape liquor). Eventually, we decided that we wanted more water and some beer, so we went into Schop Dog, a Chilean bar and grille. We split a giant tall thing filled with beer called a girafa (the giraffe) and ate a big basket of fries while we watched some soccer. Afterward, we found a nice dark and quiet spot to hang out in and finish the Pisco. There was a bum passed out sleeping on the ground next to us the whole time and he never once woke up. At about three in the morning, we finally made it back to Residencial Real and went off to sleep. What a great one.

More as it comes, I'm sick of typing. THanks for reading.

Con gusto,
Brad

Movin' Right Along

It's Thursday the 26th, a lazy afternoon in San Pedro. Pat's been here for four days now, I believe, and things are great. We met a great new friend named Andreas who is also camping on the outskirts of town. We all fell in swimmingly together and hit it off, so we all camp together now. It's just outside of town down the riverbed, nice and isolated. The stars at night are incomprehensibly beautiful. I never realized how many stars fall in a given night until I had perfect clarity during night time. It's SO dark out there where we sleep that I can see satellites cruise overhead in space! He put our minds at ease greatly by explaining that many people here practice an ancient Quechua pagan form of animal sacrifice called Candomblé (which is also practiced in Brazil where I became familiar with it [only there they call it Makumba]). That bizarre story I told earlier about the weird bloody guy sounded totally ordinary to Andreas, who has lived here for about a month and is all plugged into the local people and the pulse of the city. Apparently while our experience was weird, it wasn't a close call for our lives. Whew. Andreas speaks fanTAStic English and is, of course, fluent in Spanish. He somehow knows all the video games and TV shows that we know, so we always have plenty to rap about. He's 22 and ran away from his home in Santiago to find something that interested him more than the substandard college in which he was enrolled. We four have a solid routine going where we wake up around 9:00 and do some work in the camp like improving the campsite and building tables and such with a ton of adobe we found nearby. Then we go into town and eat lunch and jump on the net, then hunker down in the shade to read in the plaza during the hottest times of the day. The town completely closes during ciesta. At around sundown, we always have the epic task of finding enough firewood for the campfire. At night, we usually buy dinner ingredients and booze, then retire back to camp to cook our meals and carry on until bedtime.
I've met many excellent people here so far: an enchanting and almost aristocratic woman named Miriam from Holland who already left for another city, some local guys named Emanuel and Abraham, two really great artesans named Jano and Lorena from Santiago, the owner of the horse tours, named Farolo, to whom we were recommended by Loreto in Antofagasta, and these beautiful performing twins from Quebec named Momo and Francesca. They juggle and dance in plazas and are only 19. Very cool people, all in all.
Because of the wild thunderstorms that I mentioned from last week, there was apparently an excess of water in the mountains. One night while we were goofing off at camp, I heard the sound of running water. In the Atacama. Nobody else heard it, but I switched on my headlamp and turned toward the riverbed. A bona fide river was being forged RIGHT in front of us! Unbelievable. Only in National Geographic have I ever seen a river being born before that night. The next day, we had ample water in which to splash around, wash ourselves, wash pots and dishes, and store for later use. Of course, it's dried up now, but those two days were excellent. One night a few days later, two wild llamas, one HUGE male and one smaller female, found us to be very interesting and got a little too close for comfort. Not that they would eat us or anything, but a 600-pound llama could easily charge and trample us. We had to stay leery and alert while we built a fire. At one point, he came within 15 or 20 feet from us and we all made sure to have either something to swing or something to make a lot of noise if he decided to come after us. Anyway, it all turned out fine, but the adrenaline levels spiked a little bit that hour. There are roughly forty stray dogs running around San Pedro and we've named a whole bunch of them. There's Baron, Sebastian, Ojo, Delilah, Stokey, Cujo, Mangy, Archie, and our favorite, Sparkles. She's a small black lab puppy, one of the only females in town, and she's incredibly well behaved. She even showed up asleep at our camp this morning. She doubles well as a pillow and loves our company, so I decided to buy her a big lunch of turkey today. "Hey, Brad, what'd you do in Chile? Oh, I got a dog."
There's plenty more to tell of course, but I grow tired of yammering for the moment.
Today, tomorrow, or the next day, we will take an overnight bus trip to Arica, Chile, which is the northernmost city. Once I know the timing, I'll be sure to put it on here. There are too many tourists in this city, so we're looking forward to hitting the next one.
Adieu, avid fans. More to come, of course.

Pat's Arrival, and WEIRD Event

It's around 1:00 in San Pedro now, and it's suuuuper hot. Pat's due to arrive within the next six hours or so by bus. The rumor is that Marcelo's coming with him, but we don't know yet for sure. Andy and I are still rocking this city pretty well. I got rid of some excess crap I wasn't using, which cleared up space and weight to help Andy carry around the "kitchen." I'm an expert bag packer by now. This morning we had a weird and temporarily frightening experience: after waking up early and packing our stuff, we walked a short way to a nearby hangout spot away from town that we're familiar with. It's got a ton of empty bottles and wine boxes stacked up, so it's obviously a popular spot. We decided to chop up some veggies and make a pasta, cheese and veggie soup. While cooking, a guy walked up from the nearest hacienda across a little river bed and introduced himself as the owner. He seemed like an alright guy at first, so we chatted while stirring our breakfast. Then, another guy came up from behind us on another river bed and introduced himself as a friend to the hacienda owner. When I asked him his name, he hesitated for a while, then said Hernan. "Hernan" had red stuff all over his hands, which I thought was wine since they were both obviously kind of drunk, but I shook his hand anyway. This guy was aggressively trying to get information out of us for a little while and just staaaaring with this weird look on his face. Watching us cook. Freakin' weirdo. At some point, he made a joke about being a vampire. His friend left back to the hacienda briefly, but was replaced by a scary looking old guy who didn't say a word. He also just started to watch us cooking. By this time, Andy and I used some subtle gestures between ourselves to say "if anything goes down, be ready, because these guys might be trying to rob us or something." The hacienda owner came back with a jug of water just as the old guy left. We then realized that Hernan was washing a whole bunch of blood off his hands, not wine! Oh crap. Then, the climax of the tension came out of his pocket in the form of a long, bloody knife. At this point, Andy and I mentally searched for something nearby with which to crush the skulls of these maniacs if they tried to rush us. Pretty nervous, we both continued to entertain our "guests." After getting his hands and knife clean, Hernan got up and moved around the both of us, then bade us farewell with a smile and a handshake. The two guys walked away up the street, leaving us alone. We were far enough away from the town (since we prefer to camp in privacy and for free) that nobody would have heard a scuffle, and only once person knew where we were camped. Feeling quite paranoid, we both packed our bags, constantly looking over our shoulders of course, and took an alternate route back into town.
I feel that our speaking Spanish to them saved our skins on some level. They knew they couldn't say anything that we wouldn't understand (like "hey, let's rob these Americans, guys. On three...") and I think it helped to affirm that we were savvy enough to put up a fight. It was weird... Nothing REALLY happened, they didn't hit us or approach us, but it was obvious that it wasn't just a friendly chat. Everybody else in this town has been really nice and very genuine.
Anyway, we kept our heads about us and harnessed all the reptilian instincts to escape with no issues or injuries. All I know is, if they'd come upon us while we slept even an hour prior to our encounter, we would have been discombobulated and defenseless, and they very well may have robbed or stomped us. If I see those $@#%! again, I'll make every effort to avoid them or make my contempt obvious. We'll definitely be camping on the OTHER side of town this evening!
However, despite those weirdos and these three penniless Chilean guys that have tried to sell us everything from sandboard tours to weed to bracelets, this town is charming, clean, honest, and fun. We'll probably leave in two or three days to go to Arica. Right when we know or when we go, you, my dedicated readers, will know too.
Con amor y con gusto,
Brad

Two GREAT Days

It's day two (tonight will be night three) here in San Pedro. Our first night, Andy and I decided to check into a hostel to avoid ending up with nowhere to sleep our first night. It was just too dark and too late to really be thinking about finding a campsite. Immediately after getting settled and meeting the two British chicks living in our dorm room, we set out for dinner and ate at this place called the Dragon Room (Salon de Dragon). Andy ate a huge veggie lasagna and I got stuffed on llama meat. Afterward, we took to drinking most of a bottle of Pisco (grape liqour) on the street while walking around and getting our bearings.
That evening at the hostel, we found a neat little pavilion behind the main building and hunkered down to chat and drink some more. A lovely Dutch woman named Miriam came and sat with us for a couple hours and we got to know her and her beautiful accent. During the exchange, the power all went out and I traipsed off into this big field adjacent to our table to get a great view of the night sky. I've never been so awe-stricken by the sky before. There is no light pollution here and all the nearby lights were off. It was truly a sublime and humbling moment, one of the best in my life. We three stared and stared until, unfortunately, the power came back on and we lost the perfect view. The bottle of Pisco emptied, we parted ways and went to bed.
Next morning, the 19th of March, we were woken up by the English girls and their excessively loud packing. Apparently they hadn't begun to pack at ALL the night before, so they rustled for a solid 30 minutes at seven in the morning. Bah! We checked out then and went to find the campsite where we now live. It sucks pretty bad, though, so we plan to go scout another spot as soon as I leave this net cafe. After setting up camp and using the net, we got lunch and found a SWEET secluded little spot under a large bridge. While BS'ing and enjoying some juice and beer, we were surprised by a massive thunderstorm moving in. In this desert, it only rains once a year on average. A lightning-packed, thunderous monster of a storm dumped a bunch of rain on us while we were drinking under the bridge! Really amazing, really special.
When the rain stopped, we made our way back to a little plaza that has become our kind of rally point. There, a group of about twenty giggling high school girls was on a field trip tour from Santiago. They asked me to take a picture, assuming that I speak no Spanish, and I of course came back at them with a smart-aleck "well, you didn't ask me, now did you?" For the next twenty minutes, I had them eating out of my hand while I was showing them American dance moves, telling jokes, grilling them in English and generally being a maniac. Of course, they all wanted tons of pictures of me and they each wanted a cheek kiss before they left. Even their 25-year-old chaperone was thrilled and we all got side stitches from laughing so hard. Really fun. After they split, Andy and I just shook our heads for a little while, then had to cruise back to the campsite to get some warmer clothes. The wind was blowing REALLY strongly by that point.
Last night was a whole big collective experience of wine and meeting people. We ran into some cool Australians and New Zealanders, then Miriam again. After a nice bit of exercise, I went of to sleep restlessly.

In San Pedro de Atacama, Chile

Hey y'all. The internet here is pretty expensive and rare, so this time I'll leave it to you to do a little research. But do it! This place is really unique, tooootally in the middle of nowhere, and very historical. We took a five hour bus ride from Antofagasta yesterday, then found a nice lil hostel to stay in and ate llama meat and vegetarian lasagna for dinner.
Unfortunately, I'll be posting a lot less while I'm here since it's tough to make it work, but you'll live. It's great temperature, FULL of tourists (which I don't actually like, but it's only a short stay), very quaint, very lush even in the Atacama Desert, and full of interesting old history to check out. Also, geysers, llamas, Europeans, rock formations, horseback riding, and all kinds of other stuff. Check it out on Wikipedia, it's very interesting.
This stay should be pretty short and then the plan is to take a SUPER long bus ride and get to Peru. Probably Cuzco first. My best friend Martin has a ton of family all over Peru, so maybe I'll get to meet some of them.
Thanks for reading, I miss you all. Stay warm during the U.S. winter and we'll see each other before you know it.

Much love, Brad

Map of Where I Am

I don't know EXACTLY where I am cuz there are no street names on Google Map for the area, but I recognize the little jut out into the ocean as the place where we swim almost every day. It's a completely private beach that is more seashells than sand. Really beautiful. Enjoy the map, much love.
Brad

Day 9 in Antofagasta

It's about dinner time here on Sunday and we just wrapped up some shopping and whatnot. The progress on the hostel here is super quick and we're putting together quite the nice little place. I've been learning a lot about construction (laying down tile, mixing concrete and tile cement, cutting and installing aluminum sheeting, woodworking, etc) and partying at night. Marcelo has a neighborhood full of characters and we've been meeting a new bunch every other day. His nextdoor neighbors, Christian and Roberto, are total maniacs and they party WAY harder than the average person. They're super nice and live there with the whole family. Another house on the block, occupied by these two mechanics named Osvaldo and Alfonso, is a great spot as well. They have a hammock and four super small four-wheelers that we can ride pretty much whenever we want to. One night while we were drinking some very tasty hard liquor called Aguardiente (100 proof!), Osvaldo talked Andy and me into letting him cut our hair. So we now both have somewhat wild haircuts. Good thing mine's short and it'll grow back into something that's easily trimmed again.
Our Canadian friend Carl just left two days ago, so now it's only Marcelo, Loreto, Pat, Andy and I living in the big empty hostel. Marcelo closed the place down for our renovation, so we can leave construction messes all over the place and be as loud as we want. It's a great place to be. The pace is MUCH slower than it was in Salvador, so the days are just flying by.
Within about a week or so, we'll likely be leaving for another city or another country. We hear Bolivia's super cheap, and so is Perú, so we'll probably head there. My best friend, Martin, has family in Perú, so we may look them up if we can get in touch with them and stop by for a little visit. Who knows. Our plans are about as loose and day-to-day as they can possibly be. It's great. We just do some work in the daytimes, go swimming in the sea when it's too hot to work, eat randomly, pause daily for a two hour ciesta, and rock out at night. BUT, a little change of pace is due, so I'll give more news on that as it develops. Gas is about $3.35 a gallon here, a bunch of bananas is about 50 cents, a huge fresh empanada is $1, and an hour of internet is around 80 cents. It's cheap, hot, dusty, rugged, and very relaxed.
If you want to find approximately where I am, it's called the Hostel Mosaico. I'm trying to get a Google Map photo uploaded to the blog, but the computers are sort of old. Working on it. The nightclubs here are fun, too. I don't understand any of the songs there, but the environment is good and the drinks are cheap. People here are much friendlier than in Salvador. Everybody's ecstatic that I speak Spanish, which of course incites them to pelt me with their heavily-accented Chilean Spanish. Good as my Spanish is, I can't understand HALF of what some of them say to me here, especially when there's alcohol involved. I personally think they speak kind of lazily and they clip their speech, even when speaking to a person that obviously needs all the help he can get, but it's just the way they do it here. No judgment allowed!
Not much more to say really. There's less important and exciting stuff happening, so y'all aren't missing much in terms of stories. But it's all good. This is the vacation part. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it. I'll try to pack up some sunshine and smuggle it back into the country with me for all of you. :)
Until the next post, then. Take care, friends and family.

Brad

Hola from Antofagasta

Thanks very much to everybody who sent me a birthday wish or a birthday present in the form of money! I really appreciate all your thoughts, especially when I'm so far away. My internet time is limited, so my blogs will be shorter and more infrequent. But I'll still try to stay up on it.
The day I got here from the early Santiago flight, Andy and Pat picked me up with the owner of our hostel. His name's Marcelo and he's a great guy and the proud owner of the Hostel Mosáico. It's a great fixer-upper place in the southern part of Antofagasta and he's putting us to "work" in exchange for a free campsite to stay in in the adjacent lot. He doesn't really ride us hard, though, he's very relaxed. We've installed tiles on a patio and in an outdoor shower, built and installed frames and walls for the shower, begun collecting materials and planning to build a large outdoor stone barbecue and smoker, repaired countless little things, planted countless plants, and enjoyed each other's company immensely. His girlfriend's name is Loreto and they are both very inviting. Andy, Pat and I have been just thick as thieves and we make trips to the city and the beach all the time. There's cheap booze and thrills here and we love to take EPIC hikes in the hills immediately behind the town. They used to be huge copper mines, so there are GIANT endless caves to explore, too.
The locals have thick accents and drop their S's a lot, but I love speaking and hearing Spanish everywhere and am doing my best to teach the guys and not translate everything. It's a much more simple lifestyle here than in Brazil, but it's rustic and fun. So far, we've been sleeping in, working somewhat, meeting people (a goofy but funny kid from Canada named Carl and other people that come in and out of the hostel), swimming, drinking, and learning guitar, language, construction, locations, and new foods.
I literally have two minutes left before I get charged for another hour of internet, so I'll adjourn now. More as it develops. I miss you all and think of you. Friends, classmates, family, parents, everybody.

Take care of yourselves, I certainly am doing so for myself.
Brad

Chile

It's 6:10 am right now in Santiago and I have a half hour to kill before my shuttle picks me up from the Hotel Americano to go back to the airport for my Antofagasta flight. Despite a really crappy bed and lots of party noise from the Friday night festivities drifting up through the window, a little self-induced dreaming afforded me a few hours of sleep. Although I would like to think that this raw throat is because I slept with my mouth open, I may be getting sick. There was a weird Australian kid next to me on the flight yesterday that was coughing up a storm.
This city is apparently very cool and very rich with culture and night life. It's a shame I was only here for a few hours of restless sleep. Maybe I'll come back someday for the full experience. I'm definitely enjoying the peace time right now before another day packed with activity. Although I'm SUPER stoked to be meeting up with the guys today!
It's weird to think that I'm sitting in Chile. Too bad I've only seen the inside of an airport, the inside of a van, and the insides of a hostel. And that's all I am going to see of Santiago. But hey, whatever. Gotta jam and catch my ride soon. Hopefully there's some good breakfast food at the Santiago airport while I wait for up to two hours.

Until the next post from Antofagasta, much love,
Brad

Off the grid for a bit

Hey sports fans. Nothing terribly exciting has happened in the days since the party ended (except me getting a new tat), so I won't bore you. Just resting and tying off loose ends. My plane to Antofagasta, Chile leaves in exactly 12 hours. There, my friends Pat and Andy and I will have a monumental reunion and they'll explain the lifestyle in that city to me. They've been there for two weeks now, I believe, so they can show me the ropes.
I don't know the internet availability there and I'll have other fish to fry for at least a day or two, so don't expect any grand posts for a while. I need a break. Writing is one of my favorite pasttimes, but jeez... Time-consuming.

Stay tuned for more, just not right away. MANY thanks to anyone reading this from Brazil (or maybe not from Brazil, but just in Brazil when we met). You all made my experiences here memorable and fantastic. Everyone else at home, I think of you all daily and miss you. Wish me luck with the frazzled South American airport system tomorrow. Burning Man buddies, here I come!

Hanging tough,

Be Rad

My Huge Carnaval Post

CARNAVAL, PROS and CONS

The Salvador Carnaval is the largest gathering of people for a party on Earth. An estimated 11 million different people attend the festivities over the 6 days. I was one of them this year. Here are some observations I made about such a massive and unique festival in the form of a pro and con list.

PRO, music: The festival is centered around traditional African and Bahian music, most of which is axé (“ah-shay”), candomblé (“con-dome-blay”) and pagoda (“pah-go-jay”). These are all very lively styles of music meant for jumping and grooving and the whole crowd throws its hands and water into the air at every chorus. There is live music for about 10 hours each day playing off of mobile stages on double-decker busses called trio-elêtricos. The other kinds of music are samba, reggae, reggaeton, gypsy drumming, and various electronic music from guest DJs. Nearly all of the compositions are original, and nearly every person from Bahia knows all the songs. It’s really cool to see four blocks full of people laughing and shouting along to music they know while balloons, beach balls, water, confetti and clothes fly all over the place.

CON, music: I personally didn’t know almost any words to the music, nor what it was talking about. That makes it hard for anybody who doesn’t speak Portuguese to really enjoy what they’re hearing. Also, being a somewhat critical musician, I tired quickly of the repetitive nature and lack of creativity of much of the music. It’s like techno: if you’re buzzed and dancing, the music is great. But if you’re looking for quality, technical music, you won’t be satisfied. To be fair, the electronic music was all really good and there was a ton of Bob Marley being played all the time.

PRO, color: the colors are bright and numerous everywhere at Carnaval, which is a real feast for the eyes. The costumes and shirts associated with the blocos are really great and it was very surreal to see a mob of 500-2,000 people jumping around a mobile rock concert in the same brightly-colored shirts.

CON, theft: There is a ton of pickpocketing at Carnaval. A guy in an orange bandana snuck out of the crowd and stole my friend’s flask out of my pocket in about one second and then slipped back into the mayhem invisibly. They’re really pretty slick. They put pressure on your left side like they’re someone trying to push past you, which makes you pay attention to that side and look at the rude guy shoving you. While your focus lies on them, their partner not-so-slyly slips into your right-side pocket as discreetly as possible and liberates you of whatever you have in that pocket. I wised up after I figured out what happened and stopped FOUR subsequent attempts over the next two nights. Thank god the guys aren’t violent about theft, because, against Fernanda’s advice, I probably wouldn’t give up anything without a fight. Unless they had a weapon, of course. At least I knew better than to carry any money or identification in an outer pocket. Those things I swallowed in a balloon and regurgitated only when I needed to buy drinks.

PRO, the dancing: If ever there were a collective group of people that know how to dance vigorously and with endurance, it’s the Brazilians. The energy at Carnaval is a frenzy. The ocean of people in the streets bobs and undulates to the beat like the waves in the sea that lies just below Carnaval. Nobody headbangs in Brazil. They’ve all learned since childhood how to swing their hips, hold their torsos and arms like a preened rooster, and stomp their feet in time. The trio-elêtricos tend to have the most beautiful kinds of people on top of them since they are so public, and many of the women trio passengers can samba like professionals. I caught myself staring more than once.

CON, fights: A lot of men (and some women) at the festival either a) go there to pick fights, b) are overly jealous and combative toward people that look at or dance with their significant other, or c) get super drunk and take things personally. I saw about ten fights happen over my five days of going. Granted, the close quarters, alcohol, bad smells, lack of comfort or space, and loose-lipped men and women are all catalysts for short tempers. But seriously, these people must just love to fight. And some for no reason. This is a true story, I kid you not: on their way home from the camarote (VIP building) on the night that I stayed home healing and relaxing, Nanda and Renata ran into one of their old friends named Simon. He was walking home by himself on a well-lit street not saying or doing anything, when a stranger walked by and punched him in the face. His lip was split open pretty badly and he was sucking on a wet paper towel when the girls found him. He was cheerful, but without gauze or ice, so they brought him home and I doctored him up with the Neosporin I brought from home and a bag of ice. Poor kid.

PRO, attitudes: Nearly every face at Carnaval has a smile on it. Every varying level of smile, too. Some are calmly observant while others are ear-to-ear and singing a favorite song. Hugs are plentiful and kisses are easily obtained.

CON, smells: The flood of people into a small area brings with it some really powerful stink. Everybody drinks and eats a lot there, and exercising afterward gets the juices flowing, literally. There aren’t really enough Port-o-Potties and all the businesses in the affected area are closed and boarded up, so with no options left, most men just whip it out and piss on a wall. Sometimes in a crowd! Or on a nearby car. The piss runs down the gutters to mix with spilled beer, the occasional vomit, and god-knows-what else to form brackish pools of stench soup. Body odor isn’t as big a concern, since the sweat is closer to water than to B.O. sweat, plus one’s nose begins to shut down quickly after arriving. Ugh, but the worst thing is that many homeless people that usually live in the area have really nowhere else to go or they have some meager job at Carnaval and have no other options, so they actually go Number Two in the gutter or into a T-shirt or something and leave it within visual and/or olfactory range of the crowd. Pewww.

PRO, beautiful people: Brazil is an untapped resource for chiseled, gorgeous people. In an earlier post, I mentioned how some of the most visually cursed people live here due to scars, birth defects, disease, and what have you. However, some of the most surrealistically attractive people on Earth live here, too. I’m totally straight, of course, but the guys here have perfect bodies, great skin, healthy lifestyles, and great teeth. And the women… Oh, my god. I think God smote the entire country with curves. And they know how to throw them around, too. Caramel and ebony and walnut and cream skin, blond and morena and kinky and curly full hair, short and tall girls, big features, big booties, and the absolutely best legs I’ve ever seen were everywhere I looked. And as I’ve said before, their language is like singing. If I didn’t already love my life in the States, I’d live here in a heartbeat just for the women! Ah, but I still wish they all could be California girls.

CON, poor people: All over the place, there are poor people either begging for money, attempting to scam or rob you, or selling really crappy wares or food. The most common thing I saw walking around Carnaval was a guy or a young kid hauling a Styrofoam cooler on his back full of ice and beer, selling it for super dirt cheap. It is a major buzz kill, especially since nobody has a plan or a shred of sympathy for these people during or after the festival.

PRO, location: Carnaval takes place on the streets that border the Atlantic Ocean in Salvador. One can see the sea and the endless horizon from almost anywhere in the event, and each sunset and sunrise is more beautiful than the one before.

CON, sexual deviants: Many men here exploit the sexually liberating nature of the event and go off kissing girls who don’t want them. I hear that lots of girls prefer to make out with a guy and make him leave than to deal with his garbage all night while he follows her.

PRO, cheap goods: The exchange rate from US Dollars to Reales here is about 1 to 2, which already helps me out. Then, everything is super cheap there anyway. A skewer full of sausage, beef, chicken and vegetables costs only two Reales, a bowl full of delicious and nutritious Açaí costs about four, and a tall can of beer costs ONE Real! That’s about fifty cents in the U.S. Even the most luxurious and costly food and drink nights at Carnaval are pretty cheap.

CON, filth: Because the trash collection infrastructure really sucks at the festival and because there are millions of people all in the same place with a devil-may-care attitude, the trash and other filth really piles up. There aren’t even trash cans anywhere. You literally just throw garbage into piles or out of the way under a table or something. It makes for a depressing way to discard trash.

PRO, camarotes: There are special viewing places for Carnaval called camarotes. They are actually businesses, that line the streets the rest of the year, that have been converted into two- or three-story clubs with limited access. They are either costly or invite-only, but they have the best views of the trio-elêtricos, provide a nice place to sit down or get away from the madness on the streets, and have real bathrooms to use. Nanda’s father has a high position in the Coelba, or Company of Electricity for Bahia, so he was given two passes to the BEST camarote for all 6 days. It’s called Express 2222 and there was free food inside (not just crackers and stuff, but ice cream, chocolate, rare cheese, fruit, temaki, deli meat, sandwiches, coffee, free delicious cocktails, free beer, wine, champagne), free massages, tons of gifts at the door, a full dance floor with guest DJs, three stories of balconies from which to view the festivities on the street, computers all over with internet access (which I think is a stupid thing to have at the world’s biggest party, but whatever, it was free), huge futons everywhere, comfy couches, and celebrities. I went there for two nights and Nanda went with other people for two nights.

CON, madness: It’s so confusing, disorienting, loud, distracting, crowded, unstable, dirty, and intimidating at Carnaval sometimes that it detracts from the beauty of the event. As easy as the city is to navigate, I still got lost a couple times because of all the craziness happening.

PRO, rain: Every single night for the whole week, the rain would start to fall at one or more points during the parade. I personally can’t get enough rain since I’m a desert-dwelling land lubber, and it drove the temperature down considerably. Plus, all the girls who didn’t want runny mascara would all run for cover, which cleared the streets for the rest of us to frolic.

CON, rain: Much as I love the rain, apparently it’s fairly dirty rainfall. One of the negative side effects of such a large city is that the clouds have a fossil fuel content and make some people ill with the flu and stuff if they get rained on.

PRO, kissing: If a member of the opposite sex makes steady eye contact and offers a smile, it is perfectly acceptable to approach him or her and have a makeout session. Usually, it’s the man’s prerogative, but girls can do the talking, too. It’s very free and open.

CON, transformation of Salvador: To protect the businesses and historic sites from the ravages of Carnaval, the city boards up much of the authentic storefronts and covers them with advertisements and colorful banners. It’s okay if you’re a Vegas type, but I much prefer the real city, so all the gaudy crap makes it just look phony-bologna.

PRO, a big break: Since the economy and school all shuts down for the whole week, nobody really has anything to do during Carnaval except to party and sleep in. As a result, there are many cultural events throughout the day by people that would otherwise be working. Also, the entire city is present at the event.

CON, expensive: Except for the cheap food and booze I mentioned, everything else is pretty expensive. To gain admission into the area immediately around the trios, called blocos, requires basically just a special shirt. But to get one of these shirts, even for an unpopular or brief band, costs from R$ 50 to R$ 200! That means you have to walk behind the band car all night, too. Entrance into the camarotes costs anywhere from R$ 100 to R$ 600 a night!

PRO, originality: The Carnaval in Rio de Janeiro is by far more visually amazing. The costumes, dancers, floats, and stage effects are hands-down the best on earth. However, only performers can get on the street. Even high-paying patrons can only watch from good seats, they cannot go down to join the party. Bahia Carnaval is totally hands-on and intimate. The party includes everybody who can walk and dance.

The myriad of other observations I made can all be blended into one cohesive and unforgettable memory. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before, even after attending five Burning Man festivals. These people really love to cut loose. And the festival immediately precedes Ash Wednesday and 40 days of Lent, so it gives them all the opportunity to glut themselves with sins of the flesh and then purge their wicked ways afterward. Glorious!


NOTES, for those of you who care...

Pros: color, music, dancing, smiles, pretty people, location, cheap beer and food, camarotes, celebrities, rain, camaraderie, exciting, smells, kissing, no economy for a week, transformation, tons of business, no cars, no schedule, cheap stuff for sale, creativity,
Cons: theft, fights, cops, smells, poor people, rape, filth, madness, lost, turns pretty Salvador ugly, music, food can make people sick, rain, expensive for blocos and camarotes, really loud, hazardous for feet, puddles of god-knows-what, pissing in public, can’t swim in the sea for a week afterward,